The sight of streetlights in puddles really is one of the most beautiful things.

And that's probably the first positive thought I've had all day, maybe even all week. Truth is... and that's the thing, I don't even know what the truth is. I try to cover it up, but this week some of it slipped out; if I could go back and change that now I would, but there's nothing I can do about it.

I'm sorry to those of you I've hurt over the past few days, be it something I did or said. I never meant for it to happen, but sometimes there's only so much one pair of shoulders can carry. Pessimism creeps in, and not much can send it on it's way again.

I'm sure I'll smile soon, and it'll probably be because of you. You know who you are. You always know what to do or say to bring me back, whether I'm right at the edge or just a little further than I should be. Any time of day or night, I think of you and nothing seems quite so bleak any more. I don't tell you this to your face often enough, but I really do love you.

So much.

Worried.

Bottling it up is not going to help. You NEED to talk to someone. Even if it's not me, someone. It's not healthy to keep it inside.
Please.

I hate seeing you like this.

Maybe Romeo isn't a Romeo after all...

Okay, now this might just be me and my currently confused mindset, but I was listening to We The Kings properly for the first time yesterday, and came to the conclusion that:

Check Yes Juliet is from the point of view of a girl.

I'm aware that it is probably not written from this viewpoint, but it makes so much more sense to me that way. At least, the way my head is (not) working right now, anyway.

I fail at life simulation games.

No, really.
http://games.the-n.com/games/avU/

So, you know how you try and set up certain relationships before you start? I had it all sorted: preppy couple, goth couple, cute indie couple, token gay guy, science chick, friend to everyone...

Yeah. That worked.

In a nutshell:
Prep girl is cheating on jock guy with emo guy, who is two-timing her with indie girl, who left indie guy after he cheated on her with nicey-nice girl but is now going out with science chick; meanwhile lesbian goth girl keeps taking indie girl on dates destined to fail, and as we speak science chick is on a date with gay guy.

No wonder my own love life is a failure, if I can't even sort the lives of pixellated characters!

EDIT: Since posting this blog, emo boy is now also with nice girl, as is jock guy - although he has ditched indie girl.
EDIT: And now all relationships have disintegrated but for prep girl and jock guy.

The media.

I'd never really given a thought to the way the media makes us view things or people, but I watched something today that really made me think about it.

Now I don't know if any of you have seen Orange UnsignedAct, but for those of you who don't know it's basically the credible version of an X Factor-style thing: the only rule is that artists must write and perform their OWN songs. Now, I recorded it to watch today, and one thing about it really annoyed me.

There's a young lad in the competition called Dan Scotty. He's very good, but they wanted them to do acoustic performances, which he really doesn't do and so left the competition. Okay, I was kind of sad that my favourite had gone out, but these things happen and it was a very close contest. The thing that really annoyed me, however, was how the show was edited. I saw Dan for the first time this summer, and he was a really nice, genuine guy, who was a little shy but very friendly. I had a really good night (despite getting tinnitus from standing too close to the speaker!), and it always makes things better when the person you've been to see is happy to stand around and chat afterwards. However, the clips used in the show were edited in such a way to make him look arrogant, selfish, and a generally unpleasant character. This could not be further from the truth, and it really wound me up that some bloke sat in an office somewhere thought he had the right to twist the public's conceptions of a person so shamelessly. If he really was that kind of person, then sure, but having met him and knowing that this is not true, I felt... well, I'm not really sure of the word. Violated? Disgusted?

It's the sort of thing I expect from the tabloids, but a low-key show aiming to find REAL talent? A low blow, that's for sure.

WARNING: ANNOYING QUIZ ALERT

Just thought I'd let you know: today's blog will be something of a rant, so I'm going to post this first, to get it out of my system and to give me time to organise my thoughts without sounding whiney. I will probably fail, but never mind. (:

01 What phone model do you have?
Nokia 7373.

02 What color is it?
Pink. 'Cause I'm cool (:

03 How much battery do you have left?
Well, the bar is full, but that means nothing!

04 How much memory do you have left?
Phone: 1.8MB/Card: 1.5MB.

05 How many songs do you have on your phone?
35.

06 How many pictures do you have?
33.

07 How many camera pictures do you have?
28.

08 How many messages do you have in your inbox?
235. I only recently started keeping them, though, so there would otherwise be WAAAY more!

09 What does your first message in your inbox say?
You can so tell its jared just by the eyes
(I believe that would be Coist watching Chapter 27.)

10 What does your 10th message in your inbox say?
Lmao, edward won!
('Cause Twilight kicks Harry Potter's ass XD)

11 What does your 50th message say?
On my way ive already seen 3 in the 5-7 range
(*sigh* Only one thing on that girl's mind XD)

12 What does your most recent message say?
Still friends methinks
(Obsessive freak.)

13 What does your first message in your outbox say?
There's nothing in there right now, 'cause the outbox on Nokias is weird.

14 What does your most recent sent text say?
well, that's better than nothing at least (: xxx ps you should get online, tbh xxx
(Incidentally, she was already online XD)

15 Who was your latest call off and when?
My dad, at twenty past seven last night when I was trying to straighten my hair.

16 Who did you call last and when?
My mother on Wednesday, 'cause I couldn't see her in the car park and thought she'd left me there. Yes, stupid, I know.

17 Who is your first contact?
Abi.

18 Who is your last contact?
I don't actually know to tell the truth. Someone from Last Man Down, but they didn't put their name on the email and I thought it rude to ask.

19 Who do you call/text the most?
Coist. Definitely.

20 Any numbers that have just appeared on there randomly?
No, but I'm about the only one out of my friends!

21 What's your ringtone?
Hadouken! - Crank It Up
(Yeah, I follow the instructions in lyrics. God help me with subliminal messages!)

22 Message tone?
Just the ordinary bleep, though it did used to be Relient K - Crayons Can Melt On Us For All I Care

23 Alarm?
It changes all the time, but right now it's Goot - We Could Love

24 What's your phone background?
This awesome picture I took of Sean Smith.

25 Screen saver?
Just a clock. Nothing interesting (:

It has come to my attention...

... that my blogs are not very interesting. I apologise for this, but the fact is, I don't have a very interesting life. I also only really get to post once or twice a week, as I have some kind of weird anxiety that means I refuse to post anything vaguely personal when I'm somewhere my family can see (I know, I'm a freak).

However, today I took a photo which I absolutely love, so I might add it on here later if I can find an SD port on this laptop. I love flukes like that, when you just click the shutter on something you don't think much of and it turns out as a stunner.
But then again, anything can be beautiful if you look at the right way. It's just trying to capture that beauty in a real, relevant way that's the problem.


P.S. If anyone has any ideas on how I can make this more interesting, please let me know. It'll make me happy (: